How to Overcome Low Self Esteem


Did you know there's a correlation between a positive self-image and success? And this correlation includes success in family life, love and career.

This means your self-image and self-esteem are worth the time and energy you invest in them.

Let's take a look at how to overcome low self-esteem.


We Can Only Attract What We Believe We Are

While we can pursue self-development as an adult, we shouldn't overlook the self-development programming we received as children.

Were you told that you were creative, courageous and strong? Were you encouraged and told others believed in you? Did you feel love, acceptance, and support as a child?

Whatever the answers to these questions, this is how you'll treat yourself as an adult. If you were made fun of or told you were a bad boy or girl, you'll continue telling yourself this until you take certain steps to change it.

First, you need to understand how you create your life through your self-esteem.

The Law of Attraction

The universal Law of Attraction states that everything in your environment is a mirror of what you are. Or at least what you believe you are.

We attract people who treat us the way we believe we deserve to be treated. We invite circumstances into our lives that confirm what we already believe about ourselves.

Do you have an anxiety-driven mantra that you repeat day in and day out? A mantra is something you affirm as true for your life.

Your Beliefs About Yourself

How do you feel when you hold these beliefs:

  • I'll inevitably be left alone
  • I'm destined to be miserable
  • I always fail at everything

Now see how you feel when you hold these beliefs:

  • I'm worthy of love
  • I deserve to be happy and fulfilled
  • I'm worthy of success in my career
  • I deserve financial security

What you think matters. The key is to look at which beliefs regularly pop up in your life. How have the anxiety-driven mantras or beliefs worked out for you?

When you first begin the path to self-improvement, it can feel overwhelming. The old mantras can really take a bite out of your self-esteem.

Identifying Your Anxiety-Driven Mantras

The first step in changing your old mantras is to identify what they are. This is also the first step in learning how to overcome low self-esteem.

In the Silence

You can sit quietly in a room with no distractions and tell yourself a positive statement about yourself. For instance, you could say "I am worthy of love and respect."

Then wait. What voices come to the surface?

Do you hear internally, "but you can't ever keep a boyfriend" or "why should someone love you?" "It'll never work out anyway." "All girls are gold-diggers."

Whatever the messages that come up, write them down. Get a good solid list of what your anxiety-driven mantras have been all this time.

Separating Your Anxiety-Driven Mantras From Love-Driven Mantras

The next step is to separate the helpful mantras from the unhelpful ones.

Choosing Which Ones To Keep

If one of your mantras involves something your mother used to whisper in your ear before you went to bed such as, "you are such a blessing." You may want to keep this one and crank it up a notch by reinforcing it.

And Which Ones to Let Go

Remember, the unhelpful mantras today may have kept you safe as a child.

For instance, believing you were a "bad girl" may have kept you from making decisions that might've gotten you yelled at or spanked.

But, today you're an adult and you can choose which self-talk messages you want to keep in your life. You decide which ones serve you.

Changing Your Anxiety-Driven Mantras

When you've decided which mantras you want to keep and which ones to let go, you can get down to business. The final step is to change the mantras that no longer serve you.

Patience, Trust, and Commitment

This last part will take patience, trust and commitment on your part. After all, you didn't learn your anxiety-driven mantras in a week, month or even a year.

These were programmed messages you received about your self-worth over years and years.

But, there's good news. You won't have to wait years and years to see improvement in your self-esteem. When you commit to a few simple daily practices, you'll likely begin to see improvement in the first week.

Daily Practice 1: Letting Go

Schedule 10-15 minutes each day for performing letting go exercises. A few ways to let go include:

  • Writing down what you intend to let go on paper and then burn it
  • Using letting go visualizations
  • Having an accountability buddy to mutually share what each of you is committed to letting go

Letting go is a process. It doesn't mean that you're saying the situation or action by another was okay. Or that your anger, fear or sadness is unjustified or invalid.

It simply means you're choosing to love yourself enough to release the negative association with the person, place, thing or situation.

Daily Practice 2: Replacing and Affirming

Create replacement mantras or affirmations that you want to repeat in your mind.

You can journal about what negative thoughts affected your self-esteem that day. And identify how you'd like to replace them.

Other practices include:

  • Focusing on the things you can change
  • To surround yourself with supportive people
  • Don’t compare yourself to others

Though these practices are certainly helpful, to really take command at the root of unwanted thoughts and feelings managing your beliefs is imperative.

How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem

Whether you struggle a little or a lot, low self-esteem can really dampen your day. But there are ways to stop it in its tracks.

If you're looking for how to overcome low self-esteem, check us out today.